Posting to get things off my chest

[Cinderellaman]

Hi Dear Friends,

Well, I'm doing ok actually.

D9 came back from her week away with school today, and I had to tell her about our dog....she cried and she's sad, but she will be ok.

I went to pick her up from school when she got back. H was also there...he came home with us after that...stayed till really late in the afternoon.
We talked again for a really long time...weird, it first started about how he thinks he wants the D settlement (he is very very kind with what he wants for me and the kids) and then from that came another long R talk...nothing bad, just talking about 'what happened to 'us' and that my eyes have opened up to many things I did wrong, and he admitted some stuff he did wrong too...it was strange, he kept sending the kids off telling them he wanted to talk to 'mommy' (me of course). It was good, I think we both got a lot off our chest. He still is sure we aren't meant to get back together...he still wants me to find a wonderful guy and be happy. I told him that I AM happy and that I know that I don't need a guy for that.
I think I validated a LOT of what he said. And weird, but a lot of what I validated I actually agreed with, so it was easy to validate.

I guess it was good just to have this talk. Don't really expect this to mean anything, you see sometimes, the pain is so deep and went on for so long, that the healing time takes even longer.

What I do know is that he does intend to divorce me. He still doesn't really say the word 'divorce' but that's ok.

I'll post more later.