Wow you haven't been here very long but you seem to be doing great. I've been here for over a month, and I still have no clue to what I'm doing. I love your poem and printed for myself. Hopefully I can get some of your wisdom and strength when I start to falter.
gsr1
M 45 H 42
D 26 D 18 S 16
Married 19 years Together 24 years ILYBNILWY 1/7/08 OW 10/11/07 ended affair 3/14/08 came home 3/14/08 last contacted ow 3/17/08 4/19/08 trying to piece marriage back.
(((((((Jen))))))) I love the poem! It's beautiful!
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
The poem spoke to me because the hardest part for me in my jorney here is letting go. I put a copy on my fridge so I can read it whenever I want. H said he read it and he liked it.
A poem by me would go something like this
Roses are red Grass is green You have the nicest eyes I have ever seen.
Not too original I'm afraid
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Ok so I slipped! Had a yelling match today even though we both tried to talk at the beginning. I had no intention of having another R talk but that's what our conversation turned into.
H has appointments today to see 3 apartments to rent and he filed for D yesterday.
At the end H tells me that I'm not thinking about what will be good for us but that if I want him to move back in he will but I can't put a gun to his head and make him love me. Ouch! So I told him to do whatever the f**k he wanted to do and that I didn't care etc.
We finally calmed down and relaxed a bit. Had a more civilized chat and then he went off to see an apartment and came back to have lunch with us (D has teachers workshop at school)He left to see another.
I feel so rotten because here I am living in our apartment while he sleeps on an air matress in his parents apartment. It's not easy on either of us and I know I need to be more supportive.
I'm waiting for my friend to get back from the states with my DB and DR books. I've learned a lot by reading and writing here but I know I need to actually read the books. God willing I'll have them before all hell breaks loose.
Sorry, I still have high hopes for my M but today I'm a little down on my sitch.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Don't be too hard on yourself. We ALL have backslides now and then. The important thing is that both of you calmed down and then "had a more civilized chat". Another positive sign is that H came back to have lunch with you and D. When you see H again, ask him how the apartment hunting went - this will show support. Prepare yourself mentally ahead of time that you won't get upset at him or bring up anything else about R. Just a suggestion!
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
There is also another one (cannot find it now) by Snodderly "Why they run" (or something like that), also great.
Try not to beat yourself up now. It is hard to avoid pitfalls when you have a R conversation, esp when your H just filed for D!
Take a deep breath and keep DBing. I hope your books come soon.
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
I got it from this website which someone had posted on another thread...