Ok so I slipped! Had a yelling match today even though we both tried to talk at the beginning. I had no intention of having another R talk but that's what our conversation turned into.
H has appointments today to see 3 apartments to rent and he filed for D yesterday.
At the end H tells me that I'm not thinking about what will be good for us but that if I want him to move back in he will but I can't put a gun to his head and make him love me. Ouch! So I told him to do whatever the f**k he wanted to do and that I didn't care etc.
We finally calmed down and relaxed a bit. Had a more civilized chat and then he went off to see an apartment and came back to have lunch with us (D has teachers workshop at school)He left to see another.
I feel so rotten because here I am living in our apartment while he sleeps on an air matress in his parents apartment. It's not easy on either of us and I know I need to be more supportive.
I'm waiting for my friend to get back from the states with my DB and DR books. I've learned a lot by reading and writing here but I know I need to actually read the books. God willing I'll have them before all hell breaks loose.
Sorry, I still have high hopes for my M but today I'm a little down on my sitch.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
