Where ya' been? The sand is hard to keep out of anything, even closed rooms. I come back every night to my CHU (Containerized Housing Unit) to find a layer of dust on everything! How about that name CONTAINERIZED HOSUING UNIT. It's basically one half of what is like a big shipping container, but it's not so bad. It's roomy enough for one. At my rank, at least I get my own half!
Here's 10 thinks you all at home can do to simulate being in Iraq! Enjoy. Let me know how you do!
1. Sleep on a cot in the garage.
2. Replace the garage door with a curtain.
3. Six hours after you go to sleep, have your wife or girlfriend whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble, "Sorry, wrong cot."
4. Renovate your bathroom. Hang a green plastic sheet down from the middle of your bathtub and move the showerhead down to chest level. Keep four inches of soapy cold water on the floor. Stop cleaning the toilet and pee everywhere but in the toilet itself. Leave two to three sheets of toilet paper. Or for best effect, remove it altogether. For a more realistic deployed bathroom experience, stop using your bathroom and use a neighbor's. Choose a neighbor who lives at least a quarter mile away.
5. When you take showers, wear flip-flops and keep the lights off.
6. Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it on "HIGH" for that tactical generator smell
7. Don't watch TV except for movies in the middle of the night. Have your family vote on which movie to watch and then show a different one
8. Leave a lawnmower running in your living room 24 hours a day for proper noise level
9. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.
10. Leave a lawnmower running in your living room 24 hours a day for proper noise level
