ok, got it. I know a little peck is hard to accept. Listen, right now, in my situation, I would accept it. Right now I have protection orders, not pecks. Hmmmmm..... maybe I am the crazy one? for continuing to stand... But! I am hijacking...
I agree, Tree, something's gotta give eventually. These things do take time. What can you do to move things along in a positive direction? Maybe not much. Sounds like Jody's advice makes sense - avoid the situations that cause her to unload on you. This won't necessarily move things along, but it might prevent things from deteriorating.
I know this is hard.
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
I know it's hard. At least she's showing some emotion, even if it is anger. I think H is completely done. I would be surprised to find otherwise, even given time.
Accept the kiss. I know you want more. We all do....and we want it NOW! We just don't always get what we want when we want it. Jody's pretty sharp, if you find her suggestions aren't working you can try something else, just make sure your watching so you can adjust accordingly.
You guys have such hard sitch's. Sometimes maybe I should think I am lucky where I am. I just want so much more it hurts. This detaching is really hard. I went out to dinner w/ friends and GALed and then went to S12 Basketball game. I purposely didn't go anywhere near her. She was texting the whole time. She thinks she is so important it is unreal. She texts more than a 16 year old, o'yeah, she is a sixteen year old. All I could think the whole time was the Babe I married is now gone, someone has taken her. She will probabily never be back. I feel so bad for my kids.
BTW: when she came back from the MC she said she told the MC that she was not very optimistic about us. That's a far cry from a month ago when she told the bad MC that she wanted out of this marrage. I think the Detaching and GALing may be having an effect on her. I am staying clear of her and her pain and hopeing it will subside. I wish I could help her through this but she needs to help herself. I feel so bad for her.
Where did my little girl go? Maybe it is time for me to accept that she is gone and not coming back but I can not just give up.
BTW: when she came back from the MC she said she told the MC that she was not very optimistic about us. That's a far cry from a month ago when she told the bad MC that she wanted out of this marrage.
baby step!
Maybe a chance for you to empathize? Like next time she says "I told MC I feel not very optimistic about us..." you could say - yeah, wow, that's... gotta be hard for you to feel that way.
Quote:
Maybe it is time for me to accept that she is gone and not coming back but I can not just give up.
Thwack! (2x4 across tree's forehead) Dude. Shut up.
Your wife just said "I don't feel very optimistic." ok, it's not "Hey, why don't youc arry me off to bed, you superstar!"
But she is still there. She ain't gone and you are standing, aren't you?
Does Brett Favre throw in the towel when he's down 14 pts in the 4th quarter? Does Eli Manning say "Maybe it is time to give up..." when he is down 7 against "The Best Team in History" in the Superbowl?
Keep doing your thing, Tree! And keep that chin up!
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
I got sucked into her deep dark hole this morning. Backsliding Tree -5 points. I simply asked her where the Starbucks coffe came from and she gave me a 10 minute nasty dicertation on it. That lead into where she was staying in Philly this weekend which lead to her being very evassive and leading me like a bunny into her hole. I was very bad and did everything that DBing would tell you not to do. Bad Tree.
She is so angry and i don't see her coming out of it. HELP!!!!!
Will you have a chance to talk with her again before the Philly trip? She probably WANTS to have a negative mindset before she goes so it was a trap you might not have been able to avoid anyway.
Me:37 WAW:35 M:10 T:15 Ds:9, 5 She Dropped Bomb:9/02/07 Both still at home
What's done is done. Who was it that handed you a straw yesterday and said to "suck it up"? It's time again. You can only move forward from here. Beleive me in know. That loud popping sound last night was me blowing a gasket. What are your plans for today? How do you plan to handle anything that may come up?
I think you are right Tryingman. I fell right into it. Hook, line and sinker. Boy, today is the first time I have cried in about a month. Mostly because i was disapointed in myself. Maybe she was mad cause I was GALing last night and she did not ask any details. As Jody said she is not done with me yet.
Grace, did you blow a gasket when you were telling the kids. What happened. I thought I checked your blog this morn.
I am just way to sensitive today. Bad day. First bad day in about a week. May have to do with Detaching and Galing
All my buddies are telling me to move out of the house or get her to.
Moving out (or her moving out) may be easier on you, but will it help the M in the long run? Just playing devils advocate here.
My temper tantrum (gotta call it as I see it) was behind the stress of telling the kids and my anger at what's happening and my inability to do anything about it. It also had to do with H's inability to say sh!t if he has a mouthful.
