All I can hold on to is myself, kids and this site

[light switch]

speeking from experience i think you should let him go. Let him realize for himself what he wants. You have no control over other person, or ever will have control over other person.

light switch

[BEAUTYandWAH]

I think you are right about letting him go. but my kids do not deserve to have step brother or sister yet. My D7 is still crying about us broke up. Not now, it is too soon.. it will destroy her.
Beauty

[light switch]

You are ABSOLUTLY correct about them not deserving a step brother or sister. This is not your choice. Like it or not its your h. I believe he would have interest in you if you let him go. I cant say for sure but ive seen it. In DB and DR its about U. Making yourself more apealing. Making yourself better, able to move on.

Light switch

[BEAUTYandWAH]

light switch (i like you name)

I decided to write a confronting letter, which I will not send. I am writing one for 'h and ow' and one for 'h'. It may help me breath and let me thoughts out my head.

I am trying to do 180 but I really don't know what to do yet. Gosh, there are so many I need to work on myself but I am very confused..

Beauty

[JoieDeVivre]

Beauty,
(((HUGS)))

Your H needs to be a father to his own kids before having another baby! Sounds like the OW is pursing him.

There are support groups for children going through D. If you're D7 is really having problems with it, try to find one. I know of one in my area that was called Banana Splits. Not sure if it was church-based, or YMCA or what. I know some kids that went and it really helped them. She's at a very tender age...

Joie

[BEAUTYandWAH]

Hi Joie and everyone..
I was not here for a couple days because I was crying for two days. Of course it is about H. H backfired at me when he found out his parents know about his trip. Arguments were all over the place. One point, he said something like 'i can do whatever I want when I have kids'.. which made me think :he can take my kids away from me, oversea, cross the country, with OW, new home whatever... I told him all I want is my kids to not have OW in their life. He was very defensive about it and of course the conversation did not go any where.

When he moved out or he decided to leave our marriage, I was devastated. But I start detaching and am fine somewhat. Now, I realized I will have only 50% of my children's life. When I decided to have my kids, I thought they are my kids and they will be 100% mine. But my H, who is selfish human being is taking 50% of their life that I will not able to involve. This is not fair. He asked me to let him go. I led him go, but he did n't say anything about he is taking 50% of my kids.

They are my life and everything to me. I am so tired of thinking about this situation. Soo tired.

Beauty

[BEAUTYandWAH]

oh yea.. and

my H is fired from his job..

Beauty

[BEAUTYandWAH]

H left for the trip. I guess because I had the emotional episode the other day, I am doing good so far. SIL who knows the situation, worries about me and will stop by sometime this weekend and we will watch 80's movies. It will be fun.

I made a initial contact with a lawyer and probably I can see him next week. Right now, I don't feel like something will help me since he does not have jobs. but no matter what, it will take time. So need to fight fight fight.

Well, I will come back to post more.
Beauty

[SueS]

One point, he said something like 'i can do whatever I want when I have kids'.. which made me think :he can take my kids away from me, oversea, cross the country, with OW, new home whatever...

Hi Beauty.

Oh sweetie, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. H lost his job?? I understand your frustration.

I wanted to comment on your post from the other day. Make sure that you ask your lawyer about what your H can and can't do with your children & where he can take them. My H left us 3 years ago and was gone to his dad's for 2 weeks. We were in different states. I contacted a lawyer the second he left because he threatened to take our D with him. I don't believe that your H would be able to take your child anywhere but within your state without your permission. You have more rights than you think. When I contacted a lawyer back in December, she told me that after divorce, it's getting harder and harder to move a child to another state unless your spouse gives permission through the court. She asked me about that because we live in MN, but I'm from South Dakota & H is from Indiana. She wanted to make sure that I was clear that I'll have to retain my residence here.

I just want you to be clear about what rights you have. Just because he's their father doesn't mean he has rights to do whatever he wants and go whereever he wants.

Cover yourself, okay?

Take care-

SueS

[BEAUTYandWAH]

Sue~
Thank you for the tips. I am not familiar with the divorce/ custody law and I am very scared. And I am not ready to go through emotionally, financially and many other reasons.. All I want is to protect kids ad myself.. feel like what do I have to go through...??


My H just texted me that he got there safely and he will call later to talk to kids. I want to turn off my phone and just forget about him all day but I have to have my phone next me next 3 days because of my job(on-call).

If I have money to have good time, I would like to go to hotel with pool and let the kids have good time but money is tight..

Beauty