Yucky weather today in Cleveland. I wasn't lucky enough to have a snow day though and had to work. H met D and myself at the rink. I was talking w/ friends and he just came and stood by me but didn't really talk. Then he went in to sit down but ended up coming back by me. Kind of weird. He asked me what they could do for dinner and if it was ok to get take out. I said they could. H asked if they should order something for me. Not sure if that was an invitation to eat w/ them, but I said I would pick something up. H knew I had one errand, but I acted as if I had plans after that. I was later getting home than I told H I would be. I apologized and said I was enjoying myself and lost track of time. I also told him my 15min. drive was 35 because the roads were getting bad.
When I got home H was cleaning the snow off of the drive. I think that is the first time this winter. When he came in he apologized for not having the kitchen cleaned up. I said it was ok, that I would rather do that than the drive. After he left I sent him a text thanking him. We have been flirting back and forth since.
You always get to text flirt, no fair!! He must notice the phone vibrate SOMETIMES if you are getting TM action! But seriously, re. the phone, I get your frustration. My H charges his in his truck now. Says the house charger is broken but hasn't replaced it.........
Let me start w/ yesterday. Ds and I have a snowday. H stops by around 8:00 the morning and we have a little morning fun. Not the big one, but close enough. Things are seeming good although H will still not kiss me back. I take Ds in the late morning to get my car inspected and the tags renewed. This was something I really wanted to do because the last two years H was bitter that he had to go do it on a Sat. After we are done I try calling H to offer him lunch. No answer so I take Ds out. H calls while we are out and says have fun. Talk to him a couple of times later in the day and he seems distant. H ends up stopping by the house after 7 and eats alone because we had already eaten. H falls asleep and we can't wake him so we all end up in bed. At some point around 11, I think, H comes in and asks if I mind if he sleeps on the couch since it is late and he doesn't want to drive. I say sure in a cheerful voice. All night and toss and turn wondering if I should have said he could sleep in the bed. Ds were suprised to see him in the morning.
Today:
Leave for work as usual. H sends a text in the morning asking when D competes on Sat. I send him one back. H calls later to ask time again and I check online to give him the exact time. H says he was hoping to see her skate before going to a funeral. I asked who died. EA#1's dad. I asked him if he was going to be there to see D and he said he will have to talk to her. I said oh, goodbye and hung up. I then sent him a text (I know I shouldn't have but this is my D) "I can't believe you would do that to D." H sends back "I will talk with her about this. Don't let your hatred of somebody else skew your thinking. She is a friend and this is her father. I haven't decided." I am of course fuming at this point. I sent back "This is ur daughter. You can't make up what u miss in her childhood." H replys "I'm aware of that!" I then called him. (I know I have broken all the DBing rules, so please don't tell me that. I really need to vent.) I told him D was upset last year when you missed her first competition last year. (H was out of town on business, probably with the B.) This is her first time competing w/ music and she is really nervous. She will fall apart if you are not there. I asked if there weren't any calling hours the night before. H again said he will talk to her. I can't believe that he is so selfish that he would even think about this. D is only 10. She shouldn't have this special time ruined because H is being an A. In my opinion EA has her husband to be there for her. D needs her dad. I am just about at the end of my rope and ready to tell H to pack his things and leave.
I've not even got close recently - That part of my W is just totally shut down.
Originally Posted By: lizzy
In my opinion EA has her husband to be there for her. D needs her dad. I am just about at the end of my rope and ready to tell H to pack his things and leave.
I hear you - I've been there. It's strange to be driven by anger and resentment, rather than by the need to fix things. I guess that is a lot like how a WAS feels.
Based on my own experiences over the last month, I'm going to suggest that we both make a BIG effort to implement the 48hr rule. I had a problem with my W on Tuesday because of the OM thing. Right now, I couldn't give a crap either way with that, so it would have been better for me to keep my trap shut and wait a day or two. Same with V day when we had a blow up - Should have just kept quiet and left.
I still think your H is being an A for 'not being sure' about your D's skating. I'm certainly not making an excuse about that. I'm just trying to help you keep your sanity. Maybe you should go along to the funeral too?
I agree w/ the 48 hour rule, but I only have 36 before D skates. She skates the same time as the funeral. Even if she didn't, I'm sure H would not allow me to go. Heaven forbid I have contact w/ his precious friend.
I agree w/ the 48 hour rule, but I only have 36 before D skates. She skates the same time as the funeral. Even if she didn't, I'm sure H would not allow me to go. Heaven forbid I have contact w/ his precious friend.
At least sleeping on it is a good start, even if you can't get 48hrs to chew it over. I'll be interested to see what your H thinks he's going to do about your D... What a fool.
I just got off the phone w/ H. He called around 8 this morning to see if D was skating tonight. Poor guy had to wait over an hour and a half to hear back from me. I actually didn't know he called because I was doing my job. I told him she was and the time. H said he would see her before he skates and then he would be going to calling hours for EA's dad. I asked what he was doing tomorrow. H said he would be there to see D skate and then he was leaving. End of convo. H was very short w/ me and didn't seem at all happy about that. Gosh, sorry you decided to have children w/ me and they depend on you to be there for them.
By the way...H ended up sleeping on the couch again last night. For some reason he had a migraine. H took a pill and was going to leave when it kicked in, but he ended up there all night.
By the way...H ended up sleeping on the couch again last night. For some reason he had a migraine. H took a pill and was going to leave when it kicked in, but he ended up there all night.
Hopefully his mood will improve before he has to watch your D skate - He really should put his moodiness aside for her. I don't think that is too much to expect.
Interesting you mentioned the migraines. Last weekend my W was complaining of intense headaches and migraines that she didn't have when she was on anti-depressants. I wanted to tell her that maybe that meant the anti-depressants were helping, but I kept my mouth shut
I've been following but didn't get it. He is going to the funeral or at your Ds skating show? I missed it. I was waiting for that ever since you first posted about this and now I guess I didn't understand..
Kalni
PS Sorry I didn't come up with any words of advice earlier about this but I was mad at your H and I would have been mean, you didn't need that...
