This was recently posted and removed without a deletion notice. What does that say? Tia, Thank You for you work to moderate. Though I have not reviewed your posts, I have not noticed or heard posters being upset with you specifically. But Your moderating partner has behaved unethically toward multiple posters and praises DB with such idolatry that she has made herself antiDB in her view that DB is the sole premise of these forums--such a view is anti doing what works since it is exclusionary and thus, ironically, antiDB. DB exists to help people with their relationships using Solution-Oritented strategies. Michele does not have a monopoly on Solution-Oriented strategies--as she herself has made clear through her copious references in Divorcebusing.
Quote:
I do not know why RCR was banned. ...If a member was banned, there was a valid reason.
You have defended her actions while admitting you are ignorant of her motivations. Educate yourself before defending blindly.
Quote:
I am so grateful to Michele, Virginia, and their crew. Their heart is in the right place. Can we thank them, instead of being angry?
People are not angry with Michele or Virginia. They are thankful and grateful for the books and this website. The posters have made it very clear to whom they direct their anger--which is highly justified. Instead of asking them to stop being angry, review their reasons for anger. Their are enough voices to consider they may have something valid and thus warrant a review.
Quote:
When I went through my separtion, Michele was my "shelter in the storm". I adore her for placing marriages first, and providing this "sounding board" for us.
And yet the other moderator has removed the "sounding board" by censoring posters.
Quote:
Please respect our leader.
If you are speaking of Michele, she is respected. But since she does not post to us, she is not the direct leader on the forums. She is at the top of the pyramid. At this point, she seems to have appointed a power hungry moderator to lead her forums. The lack of respect is for that person, not Michele. The posters have made that blatantly obvious.
Quote:
Thanks for voicing your opinions.
These words are only valid if you fill them with action. Please only thank posters if you intend to do something about their concerns.
awesome thread. can't believe RCR has been banned. that one makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
the mlc board sure has taken an interesting twist. And I'm glad these things didn't happen when I was on the board trying to get life going again. This was my sanity. The very people who have been banned are part of the very people who helped me get my life back together. Not to mention the fact that my H is back home now. It was the board and it's fellowship and all the helps that got me thru that time.
what a shame about RCR - she helped everyone - and her H came home. she followed all the rules and took such great care to help almost all the newcomers. she put hours and hours into helping and caring. I don't get it at all.
Amy C, I would appreciate a nicer tone. I spent the last 30 minutes trying to find MRS. H's post. If you desire my help, please provide URL. There are many posts here. Yes, I used the search engine.
At this moment, moderators and staff are in discussion. We will address you later.
If offending someone is what get's you banned, I'd have never lasted my first year here.
Good point, Amy! Maybe your first ten minutes? I think it may depend on WHO you offend? Dang it! I don't want to leave this place! And I understand that the owners own it. I have trouble imagining that this is what the owner intended.
Since you mods want to play it this way here's how we can roll from now on: When I type a post that has to do with the crooked, deceptive and self-serving way this board is now being run, I will be sure to copy it and email it - and the post to which I am replying - to everyone in my address book so they all can see for themselves how you mods (AKA - UNTRAINED VOLUNTEERS) are picking and choosing what gets posted.
This is just horroble. What happened to freedom of speech???
Freedom of speech doesn't really exist on any internet board. The owners have the right to do as they see fit. But the consequences may be that their board shrivels up and dies. They have a fie line to walk, at times. In this case, I would say it has been crossed, probably by just a single moderator. It feels to me that the problem started small, but then got out of control, and the moderator lost sight of the function they were meant to serve. I think the intent was probably not bad, the execution, not so good. I think that a little COMMUNICATION could clear this up in five minutes. It's been asked for before, and hasn't happened, so it probably won't again, but we can hope.
Just as in DB - clearing up any of the problems would eventually mean someone comes around and realizes the hurt they inflicted and works to have that not happen again. Working things out means admitting to yourself that you may have had a part to play in all of this. Most people do not like to admit that they're wrong in any given situation.
This is why the whole world is in the mess it is. The people with a voice to try and change things get a button clicked on them to stop the noise. If you're the one in "power" you don't have to own up to anything............you can just press a button and make the noise go away.
Just like a walk-away spouse or an MLCer - if you run away from the situation you don't have to deal with it anymore. This is why all of us came to these boards to begin with. Someone deleted us out of our lives as if we never existed. I pray to God that I will never do that to anyone in my life. That if I am wrong in any given situation I will own up to it and try my best to correct it. Otherwise there just isn't any healing.
Just as in DB - clearing up any of the problems would eventually mean someone comes around and realizes the hurt they inflicted and works to have that not happen again. Working things out means admitting to yourself that you may have had a part to play in all of this. Most people do not like to admit that they're wrong in any given situation.
This is why the whole world is in the mess it is. The people with a voice to try and change things get a button clicked on them to stop the noise. If you're the one in "power" you don't have to own up to anything............you can just press a button and make the noise go away.
Just like a walk-away spouse or an MLCer - if you run away from the situation you don't have to deal with it anymore. This is why all of us came to these boards to begin with. Someone deleted us out of our lives as if we never existed. I pray to God that I will never do that to anyone in my life. That if I am wrong in any given situation I will own up to it and try my best to correct it. Otherwise there just isn't any healing.
and there you have it
brue
That's what makes this so frustrating. The person, or people, doing this really should understand that, and they don't seem to! One post, explaining what's up, instead of hiding behind a big delete button, would probably take care of it. Of course the same person also came close to name calling, and personal attacks, but those are gone, too.
I think it may depend on WHO you offend? Dang it! I don't want to leave this place! And I understand that the owners own it. I have trouble imagining that this is what the owner intended.