One of the things that I see repeated all around here and other places is the phrase "believe none of what is said, and only half of what is done". This is true in what I have found so far. Actions speak louder than words. You can talk all day and none of it will mean anything. Show her that you have improved but DO NOT get up in her face about it. It seems as if she is very sensitive about things right now. I agree that 'shocking' her is not a good idea. That will just drive her away.

Take your time. Do not push. Whatever you do, do not push her or crowd her. By some of the things you have described, there may be feelings still there but hidden behind her confusion. Just give her time.

If anybody gives you advice that seems less than honest... I would recommend not doing it. Be honest. No deception.

Ken
Me: 37
Her: 38
Son: 8 (spina bifida)
Son:2
M 6/24/1994
S 1/21/2008
Original Sitch