I might have been telling my H at times that I wanted out, but really I just needed the "high" of hearing that he wanted me.
Your wife seems just as immature as I was in those days.
Just throwing it out there....
Good grief, I'll catch it. Since my MLC, I realized how I thrived on that same kind of crap back then. So she's got a point, Frank. Although your wife is clueless that's she's doing it at this stage.
Ok, fair enough. I'm not sure where I would be considered saying to her 'I want you' in any of this. I will add that as the conversation went on I DID tell her we could talk to D12 whenever she wanted to if it was that important to HER. She declined to do it last night.
I still don't understand the 'noticing' I have lost weight last night. It seemed flirty, or at the least more than normal 'friendly'.
Anyway, on a different topic, I asked D17 if the reason she asked me to help her cook last night was because she was mad at W. She said that she saw that W was busy yet again, and just didn't want to deal with her so she asked me to help her. She needed help because she didn't know how to make this dish.
I reminded her that she needs to ASK her mom, not ASSUME she didn't want to help.
Welcome back Bill. Careful on those comments and posts now. Big brother may be watching. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I've actually been a lot of introspection, I've been calling friends I haven't talked to in 20 years and trying to get in touch with the time in my life when I was actually pretty content.
I have some stories to tell about real love, support, and commitment that I've gotten out of some of these conversations. It's all been good for me because it's helped me to realize what has been missing from my life, and that I once had it and lost it.
As far as my W, well I've been detaching more every day. I just find that I really don't like her, and I don't like that she has bailed on me so many times when I needed her to 'have my back' the most.
I think she is feeling that now, the detaching. But she's not going to change anything she's doing. I almost don't care much if she does since it seems she has a fundamental character trait that is the opposite of mine - I put other peoples well being ahead of my own, even if it means sacrificing myself. I also would never stand by and watch a friend slowly fall down an emotional pit and just do nothing.
If my W is not my friend then who is? It's something to really think about.
I didn't sleep very soundly last night. What was weird is that I am pretty sure I woke up in the middle of the night and my W was facing towards me and had her hand on my arm holding it. It may have been a dream but I think it wasn't.
It doesn't mean anything, it was just weird.
I have a lot on my mind but I need to organize my thoughts more before I post anything. Like I said, I found out what real love is when I called a friend who once loved me many years ago. Talking about life and the past I realized that what I once had with her was real unconditional, supportive love and that I haven't had that since then. And I need it.
What the heck is that suppose to mean or were you just short on time?
Frank,
I think it is good that you are doing this self-examination of your life. The last time you and your W reconciled, you just patched up your R. You didn't really examine what was wrong, or what was lacking. You, and your counselor, assumed that W would magically step up to the plate and fulfill your relationship needs. Maybe you were not clear, even to yourself, what your needs were at that time.
I hope you are moving forward with your work projects. You sound a little more peaceful. Don't read anything into your night time encounters with W, however slight.
Have a good day.
Spitfire
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
