Next Steps for W2G

[phbear316]

w2g

I tried to initiate sex with h once over the summer, (july) before the second bomb, h wanted no part at all, he actually left the house for a 3 hour walk. The rejection was horrible. I cried for hours in the bathroom with the door locked. First time i have ever locked the door. After that i went to bed, and closed an locked the bedroom door till the next day. H and i never close doors in my h, so i never close never mind lock bedroom or bathroom doors, that night i did, why i don't know. H refuses to talk about that night. To this very day i hate when h sleeps in the spare room (he hardly does) and closes the door, i usually get up and open it, if he says anything i blame the cat.

In fact the last time h and i did have sex was like May, it was such a terrible experience, i felt so empty, i felt like a $20 hooker. That was also a form of rejection on my h's part. I now look back and think that he made his decision that night that it was over for him. I just felt alone and empty, rejected, hurt. I could not and did not know what to say to him, so i just cried myself to sleep that night and blamed it all on work stress for both him and I.

The choice will have to be yours honey, I really don't know what i would do if h came to me and wanted sex, part of me initially would want to give in, but then my brain would kick in and be like hello! he had been with someone else, what are you doing. Then i could see me having the huge anxiety attack. Transformer is right, dont do anything that you are not comfortable with. Think before you leap as the old saying goes.

hugs
bear