I don't have time to go into them but, the fog is definately lifting and H is remorseful. His new life w/ow isn't the paradise that he expected but it's what he has chosen for himself. We can't go back ... the innocence of what our M was pre-A's is gone forever. Sad..
I truly don't get your H. Are you really saying that he wishes you weren't D'ing? This isn't the first time he's said something like that recently. I remember you said it was too late then, too. Are you sure? What if you did Retrouvaille?
Joie - He says stuff that makes it sound like he doesn't want the D and then, the next minute we have to talk about some revision he's made to the D papers.. Then, he's off for a weekend at ow's. So, no.. his ACTIONS tell me that there is no way he will ever give her up. I can't live with that any longer. I'm not a believer... Like I told him the other night, I will no longer allow myself to be in a M where I have to share my man... I can't do it. I won't do it. And, at this point, I don't think he has it in him to do what it takes to change my mind. I really don't..
I admire your resolve. Actions do speak louder than words and it does seem like your H just doesn't have the strength or courage to do what is right and fight to try and repair and rebuild his family. That's too bad because I think he realizes he's going to regret this. Oh well. Keep up the good work detaching.... and keep shopping!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Like I told him the other night, I will no longer allow myself to be in a M where I have to share my man... I can't do it. I won't do it. And, at this point, I don't think he has it in him to do what it takes to change my mind. I really don't..
I came to the same reality with my X. He didn't want to get divorced either, but he didn't have it in him to do everything that he could to fix our broken marriage. Your H is broken....my X is broken. They want the easy way out. If they both had magical powers, and could erase the last 2 years of our lives they would. They don't want to do the hard work...they don't have it in them...so yeah, they are losing out. They are losing great women who love them deeply...they are losing the women that were willing to give them a second chance. Some day, they will truly realize what that second chance really meant. They will realize the amazing women they were married to...the ones that were willing to look beyond the betrayal, the hurt, the lies, the deceit because they loved them with their whole heart and promised to be with them until death. We were willing to accept the worse to find the better again.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
I'm sorry I didn't get on earlier. I wanted to say thanks for coming onto my thread. I've been reading yours all along but not posting much. It's sad to see that your H is yet again unsure about what he wants. I am glad to see though, that he's realizing what he's leaving and what a wonderful, beautiful person you truly are. I do hope that my H can see that in me some day. Right now he's at the point where it seems that he just sees an issue that he needs to resolve, something he needs to get away from.
I loved how Hope worded her response to you. She's a smart cookie!
I thought about you, Joie, LWB and a few others the other day when I was listening to the radio. The song "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride came on. As the mom of a precious little girl, I understand your feelings about your sitch as it pertains to her. Take a listen to that song. It's a good song for crying, but it's also beautiful.
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero I am strong and wise and I know no fear But the truth is plain to see She was sent to rescue me I see who I wanna be In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak I find reason to believe In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger Oh it puts a smile in my heart Everything becomes a little clearer I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough It's giving more when you feel like giving up I've seen the light It's in my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future A reflection of who I am and what will be Though she'll grow and someday leave Maybe raise a family When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me For I'll be there In my daughter's eyes
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Sue, My Mom actually gave me a CD with that song on it. It makes me cry every time I hear it... ok.. it made me cry to read the words just now, too We sure love those little punkins don't we??
Hi LO, I have been thinking about you so much that I actually dreamed about you! It was very strange, as dreams can be. We were vacationing in the same place and realized who you were. It was like a long lost reunion with an old friend. But because I wouldn't know you if I fell over you, I never saw your face in the dream!
Sue, I love that song. I wish, hope and pray that I really am a hero in my daughter's eyes.
LOL... don't remember the location of the vacation dream, if there was one. The next time I'm on vacation and see a Meg Ryan look alike...
We were speaking of eye candy a few days ago and I have to tell you I spent 2.5 hrs last night looking at something pretty sweet ... Jon Bon Jovi. Went to a Bon Jovi concert last night. Jon is looking mighty fine. He has a smile that could melt better. Knows how to shake his booty pretty good, too! Richie Sambora was looking good, too...
