W has not asked for forgiveness, and she's nowhere near contrite.
Ok here it is....
Of course she is none of the above. Why should she be?
So how do I forgive that.
Hold onto that ^^^^^
Also what she did was no accident, There was a lot of planning, lies, deceit, etc so I'm still finding that hard to deal with and yes hard to forgive.
I feel ya. I get it. Flip your mind for 2 min. Try as hard as you can to look like a "woman". How many times did you do something that she thought was planned? Or full of lies. Or just deceitful? To top it all off it was "Unforgivable"?
But I'm having a good think about the approach CL has suggested cos at the very least it will get me actively thinking about the emotions that I will be feeling rather than let them churn around inside me then erupt in small out bursts. So at least I've got a route or a positive step towards forgiveness.
Your toes are headed the right direction.
I've started reading this but I think I'm gonna skip straight to the post crisis chapters you mentioned cos I think they are most relevant to my current status.
Everybody is in crisis. MLC. OPC (Other Person Crisis). Drama, Drama, Drama.
Way back.... NO DRAMA!!
How do I forgive???....
Because it is all worth it. What have you got to loose? Some time?
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
I have read "Everything" I could. I am an internet guru. I was watching Al Gore while he built it.
People only "listen" when they want to.
Me like you read the "book" that started all this. How hard do you think I picked it apart? How many times do you think I called my WAW and asked her "is this what you really think?" How many times do you think I hit her over the head with what I "THINK"? In my mind.. (DAM) at least twice what she hit me with what she "thought".
"Fast Forgiving" is a sign. Forgiving has issues cause you gotta get over all the "stuff". If you want it or not all this "DRAMA" will fade away. You will have forgiven.
One of two things will happen.
#1
You are sitting next to your wife. Your Son/Daughter Is walking down the aisle. Pick a aisle. You are so happy. Your excitement can't be hidden. You talk about old times. What has happened in your "life".
#2
You are sitting next to your new wife/girlfriend. Your Son/Daughter Is walking down the aisle. See above. You are so happy. Your excitement can't be hidden. You talk about old times. What has happened in your "life".
What you maybe did not see is the one you made that kid with is there. Maybe they are there with their significant other. Are you gonna talk about all the stuff he/she never made right?
Any way you flip it or "spin" it all the "stuff" is gone. <<<< Forgiven.
So from a DAM perspective. Which one is easier to fix?
Thanks
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
