Glad you come to join us on the board. Great people here. Okay, for my two cents worth.....well usually I give more than that, but here goes.
I was reading earlier about how the OW has to be worth the sacrifice the H makes to leave his family. That puts a lot of pressure on the OW! In the meantime, while you have him under your roof, you have all the advantage of making memories that he will find very hard to forget.
If I were you (and this would be so hard for me) but I would pretend I knew nothing about the OW. As already advised, don't snoop for goodness sake! I would become the best W a man could have! I would look like I just stepped out of a magazine at all times (when he's around). I would go get a make-over....new hair color, new clothes, make-up, etc. Get somebody that knows about fashion and these other things.....don't do your own hair and things like that....lol. You want to look great b/c the man is very, very visual. That is what triggers his sexual appetite. Then, just turn into Suzie Homemaker (if you aren't already) with the cooking his favorite meals and keeping the house in order (especially his clothes). Don't act crazy with all this, just act causual as much as possible. And....always talk with a soft, gentle voice. Never raise your voice....men hate that.
Most of all, sweetie, have a great personality at all times. That means you will have to act up-beat even when you are angry at him or your heart is breaking. Don't explode on him......instead come to us and vent. Be sweet, but not sickening. Don't be a doormat and don't wait on him hand & foot, but be helpful wherever you can.
I can't remember if you said you were sharing bedrooms. But, it's okay even if you aren't b/c you can still get all bathed and perfumed and have a pretty nightgown on........and you know you'll have to go into the kitchen for something or wherever he is in the house. And, of course you don't act obvious.......you are involved in something else....right?
Stay busy with the D and act like you are having a really fun time with her when he is anywhere in the house. He may not act as though he is paying attention.....but he is. This will try your nerves so be careful that you don't take it out on the child. Be careful not to scold her or raise your voice to her, especially when H is around. And, even when he isn't around, and especially those times you think he may be with OW, this would be a good time to do something really special with your D.....cause she will be sure to tell Daddy, and that will probably get to him.
Other things to do when he may be out is to bake or do your housework, etc. so you won't be too involved with that when he's home. That way, you will be more "freed up" when he's home.
You have the advantage of be in competition with the OW b/c you can do all these things and she is going to be putting pressure on him while you are just being sweet and the perfect mother and W.
BTW, while you are looking so hot.....he may just decide he would like to share that bed with you. He may want to have sex with you. How would you feel about that? Michelle says that is another way to take advantage b/c for some couples sex has a healing affect in the MR. But, it is up to the individuals.
Don't give up sweetie. Get geared up! You got him the first time and you can get him again. So be charming, witty, fun, not too obvious, and most of all be a warm, sweet and gentle female.
Good luck and keep coming back b/c we care.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
