All hope of getting H back

[seekpeaceofmind]

It sounds to me like you handled his snits well - at least you avoided what I am sure was a temptation to let him have it and get involved in a no-win argument. (I know I would have had the urge to fight back. . . ) You also weren't placating, and that is a good thing, IMO. You'll find your middle ground where you can be true to yourself and come at the DB challenge from a place of strength and authenticity.