Me too. This does seem to be the big issue in this one area of MLC. The spouse we are dealing with is radically different almost overnight. My H is different day to day. My behavior has limited impact. Sometimes if I am nice one day, he responds. Then often hours later he will do an about face.
My best example of this is him wanting to go to MC. He was very excited about it. By the time he got there he was so angry. My guess is OW and him had a fight. And that is a problem. We are not just dealing with our spouses, but also with another person that we never interact with and have no knowledge of, yet that person has equal or greater influence on our spouse.
