Being OW

[Sugar and Spice]

I only looked at myself when I first found out and for the longest time tried to be "perfect" and change things that I thought were the problem. Only to realize that this really doesn't have anything to do with me.

I take my part of the responsibility for letting the marriage get to where it was a possibility, but the WAS and PA/EA were/are not my choices. They are simply a situation I am being forced to deal with.

I'm with Goingforward about the OP. In my case, this OW knew my H was married and just simply doesn't care. That really frustrates me, because as a woman, a mother and a human being, I just couldn't do that to someone else. I'm not a great person, but I couldn't look at myself in the mirror knowing what I was doing. Call it a conscience or morality...who knows. I just wouldn't/couldn't do it. If I had been decieved, then as soon as I found out, we would be done, but thats just me.

I'm not trying to pick on the OW, I just realize that she is as screwed up if not more so than my H and they will have to deal with that themselves. I am finally getting over the anger at my H, like runningoutoftime, and now its really just the disappointment in his choices and the realization that the life I thought I had/was going to have, probably won't ever be the reality.

So now I focus on me and my kids, go to C and take it one step at a time. She still sucks as a person though!!