Helloooo...Smoother Ride....Where Are You?? - Pt.2

[SueS]

Rob- You are right. He won't be able to make those decisions until his drinking is under control. I just thought about something the other night. One of his closest friends went in to treatment back in November. H hasn't talked to him even though another good friend of theirs has suggested H call him. I feel like H can't call. He knows what he'll hear and he just doesn't want to right now.

So, I slipped. I've been trying to make life about me and not about the A. Trying not to dwell on things. I brought some papers to work with me. Some of the papers included some bank statements of H's from last summer. He'd worked with a friend back in July and I saw a hotel room on there. A room that I knew wasn't close to where his friend had stayed. A room near where OW works. Something snapped. Suddenly I found myself on the phone with H asking him about it and asking him if the PA had started way back then. He told me no and asked why I was calling him at work about this. I didn't know why. Everything had piled up on me and I just made the call to him. I said, you'd told me that you stayed with your friend. After a few minutes, we let that go and talked for just a minute about D3. Unless he was hiding his anger, H was actually nice after my questioning. Why did I do that? I just snapped. I was angry. I almost called him right back and apologized for blasting him at work, but also to ask him to understand how painful this is for me and how watching my H slip away from me and have no control over it is the hardest thing I've ever done.

SueS