Confusion of a WAW (Thread 7)

[JennyF]

Hey Brit,
This is just a theory, but I think your wife thinks that all the time you guys were spending together was in your mind with the purpose of eventually getting back together. Duh.
You seem like a take charge kind of guy and it could be misconstrued as controlling.
I can see why you would have mentioned you going to Chuck E Cheese's with her based on the way that you guys have been spending so much time together, but from your W's IM it seemed clear to me that she wanted to take her on her own. I know you didn't intend it that way, but I think that in itself is what she is perceiving as controlling.
You are right about going dark. I think you guys need to stick strictly to the schedule and no more dinners or Home Depot/Walmart visits. I know you need to be flexible for your D, but it's probably more important that you and your W have the consistency.
My H and I have ironed out a good schedule. Once a month we sit down and plan the next month. The basic rotation stays the same, but if there need to be any expections (for his work or anything else) then we know ahead of time. It doesn't mean there can't be last minute changes, but they are kept to a minimum. This helps to keep our interactions more pleasant as there isn't last minute changes that can sometimes be seen as self serving or controlling.
I know your W can sometimes get upset with you when you back off too much, but I think it's time to do that even if she does. She needs to figure out that SHE is the root of her problems, not you. I think you need to get out of her way so she can do this.
That's my 2 cents worth!
J~