My personal opinion, no offense intended, is that this is nothing more than your anxiety over this crisis desperately wanting a resolution.
And, again my personal opinion, finding yourself with a spouse in full blown MLC, complete with finally addressing childhood issues that may be responsible for his inexplicable actions, is a bad time to try to force some kind of resolution.
Sometimes being still on this matter of the "relationship" really is the best thing we can do.
Would you still have the desire to "decide something" if your request for separation papers caused your husband to decide that he truly did want a divorce? I wouldn't think that would be the outcome you were hoping for.
Uncertainty is something that most of us do not handle well, so I understand your frustration. And having a spouse wander outside the marriage relationship, leave the home, and vascillate back and forth between person A and person B, and divorce and no divorce, wreaks havoc with our heart. After a certain amount of time we just want something, ANYTHING, settled.
But now is just not the time for that.
You.
Your children.
Your work and interests.
These are things you CAN control, these are things you CAN do something about. You might be surprised at what an effect moving in some new directions in THESE areas would have on your outlook and your emotions. It's at least worth a try.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
