Bump it til it's pulled or she sticks it - or another thread like it - to the top of the forum.
When a person finds him or herself the spouse of a MLCer they don't understand what is going on, only that their life just got ripped right out of from under them. They are not "rational" because their LIFE is no longer "rational". They don't give a rat's behind about getting a life and taking care of themselves or strategy. They have a deep need to UNDERSTAND in ANY WAY POSSIBLE what might have happened to the person they have known and loved for so long that has, seemingly overnight, become a complete stranger. MLC is not always the cause but having the resources CONVENIENTLY LOCATED and accessible to newcomers and oldtimers alike is, in my opinion, very important. As an example, The Stages of MLC was written by someone that KNOWS, in a way that no moderator that I've seen POSSIBLY can know, just what the nuts and bolts of MLC are. When I first came here, I did not know WHAT the hell had happened to me for approximately the 3 years prior to my registering here. One night, I read the Stages of MLC and then I knew. I don't think I did one real thing towards healing MYself until I understood what happened to me. It is similar for LBSs. It is born into us as humans, this need to understand. Until we've turned over every rock, most of us won't quit searching for the truth, for SOMETHING that we can grasp and OTHERS that we can hang with in the storm. Each person will eventually come to that place where yes, they WILL be looking for ideas to GAL, positive thinking tips, etc...but that's not how it starts.
I support DivorceBusting and am personally grateful to Michele for giving enough of a damn about the state of the family today to write her books and create this site for us, where we all come and share, cry, make friends, vent and learn....without having to pay a membership fee.
What I do not support is the blatant attempt that has gone on - especially on THIS board - to fix something that I'll give you MIGHT have needed a little bit of leadership, but DAMN sure wasn't broken to the extent the DB-police needed to come riding in.
The fact that so many GOOD, VALUED, TRUSTED LONGTIME POSTERS WERE BANNED makes me question the integrity behind the powers that be.
We are often opinionated. Sometimes we are bad. Somedays we just screw around all day laughing. Sometimes we break out the 2x4's.
Living with MLC's a bitch. The aftermath is even moreso.
Not every marriage will be busted but every person it touches can be saved and we hadn't lost one yet so we do not need a babysitter or someone to pick and choose what we can say, read or express to one another.
What I believe might have started with someone's good intentions has clearly ruffled enough feathers that someone higher up than a board moderator needs to take a look and listen to your posters, your registered members. The people who's voices tell our neighbors, relatives, coworkers and friends about Michele and her books. That reason alone, makes our collective voices important enough that we should be heard.
