ARGGHG!!!! just got off from a round of txts with H, I did get some more stuff out of my chest, I was planning on writing a letter, so I'm glad it's over.
Basically, he was unhappy but didn't show it, told me I hammered him down so badly that at the end he did things out of character, that he was just trying to pull through but now he was doing with me being so controlling, that he finally can tell me the truth.
Yes, I was at a degree controlling, nagging, and I'm not proud of that, with kids and his depression & untreated ADHD it created an unhealthy combo. I do believe that he's been a ticking time bomb, just eating it all up til it exploded in the worst way.
It drives me nuts that he always talks in present, like I never changed, never addresses the changes I made and totally disregards the 2 yrs of piecing and of my 180 changes, they never excisted, they were worth nothing to him, prob too little too late, the damage was done.
I have to remind myself God forgave me for that, He did even if he never will.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
