Ya know, the WAS having the affair is behaving no better or worse than the OP, with the exception that the WAS is the one CHEATING on you. Obsessing and brewing about the OP is really not useful. If you think the OP is irretrievably evil/damaged/selfish/disfunctional/whatever, it is unclear why you would not feel the same way about the WAS.
Focus on yourself, not on some third party who is a symptom of the problems in your M.
I think there are hundreds of threads on this site that focus on ourselves and the WAS. This is just one thread that happened to focus on the OP, which I know some of us found interesting. If you didn't, then you don't have to read or post on the thread of course. I don't think any of us were suggesting the OP's were evil so much as many seem to be dysfunctional from reading the posts.
I think most of us would agree from the posts on the site here that we do think that our WAS are usually dysfunctional in some way as well. We are not blaming everything 100% on the OP, I don't believe any of the posts here have said that. But I do believe that, for example, the OP in my case, for her to have gotten involved with a married man with kids, and she was a friend of mine, I do believe she has some psych. issues, esp. since she is also married with kids as well. And FYI, I am focusing on myself, have a C and am working on DR (as is everyone on this board I believe) and GALing, but I still can read and be interested in a post like this! Karen
