Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm don't seem to have been much help but after 30 years of marriage with rarely a cross word and never a hint of a separation I DO know this so well "No amount of counselling can take away the fact that when you close the door and climb into bed at night there is a massive big void." I have been at this for 8 years now and there are still days and nights I hurt. I truly am alone,no kids at home,just me and I lost my home at the time of D so I now live in an area where I know very few people and they are only aquaintances. I continually have to remind myself of the good things in my life. I never had my h leave to come back again so no chance to prepare for a life alone. I am v close to retirement and have little hope of meeting anyone,so I do know as do so many of us here how closing that door feels each night,but like the many many of us on this bb I still have choices as to how I deal with it. I hope you feel better tomorrow.
