Getting stronger everyday!

[kissak]

Well, I didnt want to talk to HIS counselor about HIM, no, I wanted a counselor to talk to about me. I want help for me. I wasnt trying to manipulate things at all. Really, there isnt too many good ones in this area. Our MC had recommended her and I value his opinion. Please dont think that my intentions were anything but that. But if you think it would be best to talk to someone different, I will try to find someone else. This lady just really seems to know her stuff is all.

I did listen to all that he said. He told me he wanted to share this with me. But to everything he would say, he wanted me to comment. I shouldnt have asked the question I did, but he is always wanting me to share my thoughts, and if that is my only thought, how could I not share it? We are trying to be open about things now.

I like what you said though about Having to untie the knot. Makes sense. Actually the counselor did say that his issues even have been affected by my insecurities. So I know everything is connected....

Im getting this. You guys have really helped me today. Yes, I think I like drama, well, not necessarily the drama itself, but at least then I know what is going on.

The therapist did tell him that he and I cant be friends the way he wants right now. He wants us to be good friends NOW. He doesnt want to wait 2 or 3 years down the road....she told him that we need to be parents first and friends later....I guess what is hard to understand about that is we are already good coparents. We parent our kids well and have no conflicts really, until it comes to the OW. That is our conflict. OF course I am beginning to see now that she really isnt the issue at all.

I guess what I really need to do is just lay low. Live my life each day as if he is never coming back. If he does, great. I just dont think I would ever be ok with it.

My thing is I want that friendship so we can build on it and hopefully have abetter marriage int he end. He thinks the opposite....what if that is all it will ever be? I dont think that way.

I know the C has to help him understand himself. I know he has to get better before he can move any direction. I am hearing what you all say. Thank You Lin...I do need to keep my opinions to myself, just hard when he asks for them.

Oh, and the picking of his hobby....thing is my H couldnt pick one. She told him that she would do it for him then! She werent telling him that she would, without asking him first. You see, he has never had a hobby....the EMS, isnt a hobby, they havent even touched on that subject yet....

I think I just want to go away for a while. Disappear even. Of course I cant do that, but I want to.