WAW....now the LBS

[brantacan]

PR,

It has primarily been to discuss logistical issues. Prior to Thanksgiving we were meeting every couple of weeks to grab a coffee and just chat. Then we'd see each other to do things like separate the bank accounts, or for her to get some things from the house, etc.. Then around Thanksgiving she became adamant about D, so we started the mediation process. On the advice from my DB coach and from another program I did early on in the separation, I learned that the D process is an opportunity to connect w/my W. Not the ideal circumstance, but didn't have many other options. She didn't really want to get together otherwise. So, I just dropped the rope so to speak or stopped resisting and just became a friend to her. There were no R talks. I just accepted that we had to do this.

After a handful of get togethers we started getting along better, but at the same time we were getting close to finishing up the paperwork associated with the mediation process. So I reached a point where I had to let her do the remainder of the leg work. I wasn't going to be the one to put the final nail in the coffin, nor did I want to help pay for the D. Instead of just backing off for a bit and giving things a little break I felt the urge to talk about it and expressed this to her and it led to a serious R talk. I should have never brought it up, because she actually stopped talking about the D and stopped pushing to get it done. I just got anxious. We met one more time to do taxes a few weeks ago and the day went very well, but unfortunately I backslid and went into another R talk !!!and that's when I brought up the intensive. She said some things (mentioned in previous post) that gave me some hope, but I think the pain of reliving the hurt over the past couple of R talks has caused her to retreat, and I have barely had any contact over the past 3 weeks. She sent me a gift for my B-day which was Valentine's day (very neutral gift, nothing romantic), and then I received the brief letter yesterday that said "it's just too late for me" (described in detail in previous post) and also asked if i've had a chance to finish up my portion of the mediation paperwork...

so, now I'm kind of stuck again. do i just send her the mediation paperwork and put this into her hands, or back off for a while and see what she does next. I don't like the idea of going dark, but I also want to avoid another backslide...