I'm not sure what about that conversation would make you feel like things are slipping away, that the world is against you. To me it sounds like his counselor made pretty good ground in trying to understand who he is and why he is that way.
I would hope that his counselor, realizing his tendency to cling, would not allow him to cling to HER in order to find his answers. She can point him in a direction, but he needs to get those answers himself.
As for the future, well, as Grace said, you're definitely getting the cart in front of the horse so to speak.
Your husbands issues, and your issues quite honestly, have led the two of you to this place. The often ignored positive side to these crises is that BOTH of us get the opportunity to fix things inside of us and make adjustments that potentially serve us well in enjoying our future together.
The commitment of marriage is plenty strong enough to weather a season apart. Some of our most insightful time, some of our most beneficial introspection occurs during what some would call "lonely" times. Both of you need to take advantage of this time. I believe you have and you need to continue. Perhaps now your husband is beginning to as well. Allow him that opportunity.
This is not the time to plan your future. This is the time to ENSURE your future by allowing things to happen at their pace and in their time.
Focus on you, your work, your children. You can remain a friend to this man that you love, but don't try to claim any more than that right now. The other woman is not even an issue here and should be ignored.
Stay strong, stay patient, always try to see the forest for the trees. Good stuff takes time.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
