Good bye friends

[LoginName]

before I read what everyone else has said, I want to respond to your post.

First, I feel for you Cat. I empathise. I want to make it better, but know that I really can't. I can listen.

You know, some people are so crippled by their past that they can't have or maintain a good, real relationship. Your H seems to be one of those. You did what you could. You saw the good that could have been. But you can't fix him. I'm sorry for both of you that it turned out this way. It's probably for the best. You can't fix him. He can only pull you down with him (unless and until he fixes himself, which you can't spend your life hoping for).

Don't let his idea of the past affect yours. His view is his view. That doesn't make it real. When my W told me the last 10 years were awful, that she concidered suicide it was so bad, I was shocked. How could it all have been a lie? It wasn't. Neither was yours. You know the truth.

If he can't let go of those early arguments, he's got some real problems. You have to let go of the past. You can't change it. You know this, and you've moved on. He hasn't, and may never. My wife is trying to get over a couple of things I did way early in our M. When she got preggo with our first, I freaked in a way. I didn't want to talk about it. I wasn't thrilled. I was going to get out of the navy, I had no job, I had no idea how to take care of her and a child. She needed and wanted me to be happy. It still bothers her how I acted. I love my son so much. I'm so happy we have him. I can never go back in time and do it over. I can apologize and explain and apologize forever, but I'm tired of apologizing. Either she'll get over it or she won't. So far, she is. You're H isnt' letting go of it. Probably to justify his own bad choices. (if he ever faces the consequences of his bad choices, he'll really be floored.)

Cat, you can stick around the boards. We all like you for you, doesn't matter if your married, peicing, divorced, whatever.

I think you'll really find new strength, joy, hope, and power. I think you'll end up loving your new life. If you're ever in Colorado, let me know and I'll show you around.