I'll be repetitive and tell you not to be hard on yourself. When all this started with my W I was beating the crude out of myself mentally on an hourly basis. It tore me up inside and didn't do anything for my PMA.
I talked to a coach who help me to understand what I was responsible and what I wasn't. I was able to wrap my head around the fact that a lot of it was outside of my control.
I do like your statement that you'll learn something from all of this. If you learn something from your mistakes, then they aren't mistakes, they are lessons. Nobody is perfect.
