Thanks broken tree. I've pretty much left stage one and we are entering stage two.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
We are bouncing back and forth between Stages 2 and 3.
I could sense that she was getting a little scared again over the past couple days. She told me this morning that she would like to "not see each other" this weekend, that we should both hang out with friends. I said "sure, no problem, I'll go ahead and make plans then". Next weekend we are doing the full court press for her birthday on Saturday; a fancy dinner, a night in a hotel, then a family dinner on Sunday.
Last weekend was pretty intense for us, lots of R talk and future talk, but all positive. But, she gets a little funny the day after we do that, every time. She says she feels like we're moving too fast. I totally get that, especially after reading fish's piece about taking your time in each stage.
Sooooo.....tomorrow night I'm going out for beers and dinner with a buddy, Saturday morning is yoga, in the afternoon I will finish painting the apartment, Sat night probably go to a movie. Sunday I will see where my 10k training has taken me...I'll do a 6k run along the ocean.
So, it's easy for me to "get a life"...I already have one
None of this makes me panic. She has told me she is coming home. That was a huge thing for her to say. I believe her. Why rush all this living into a time when we should be taking it easy? We need to savor the journey back.
Mink that sounds great and CW68. I wish I could move out of stage one. I still feel like I am in the first inning of this thing and not moving. I wish I was where you guys are. I am working really hard on detaching which I find really hard with someone i love so much, but I will get through. I am proud of all you guys and want to be where you are someday.
Today, for some reason, I am not feeling quite as confident as yesterday. Don't know why, there is no change to the sitch. She even sent me an email last night saying how happy she was for me, for all of my positive changes.
I guess this is the first weekend since the S that we have not seen each other. That bothers me a bit.
She may also be getting a mild case of cold feet, knowing she has committed to coming home in a few weeks.
Daughter and fiance came over to visit last night, we watched "Across The Universe". What a fabulous movie, especially if you are a fan of Beatles music. Great to see 'daddy's little girl' again!
Chin up. Enjoy this weekend, it is your "last" weekend alone too. Leave the house and don't tell anyone when you're coming home. Go see a movie that only you like. Go eat at a restaurant you love but can't ever get anyone else to go to. Don't make the bed, put away the dishes or the like. Do every little thing you can that if you did around other people it would irritate them. Get 'em all out of the way! Prepare yourself for sharing your life again, because that's what's in the plans.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
Thank you. I hope things are still OK with us...she was ultra-cool in the one email she sent me today. But I am not contacting her.
It is very strange. We have gone from seeing each other 2-3 times a week, sleeping over, holding hands, kissing, deep R talks, and her committing to returning home in March - to how it is now. I haven't seen her since Sunday ( a great day) and she told me 2 days ago she wants to not see each other this weekend.
It has gone from red-hot to ice-cold. Is this normal???
