I talked in length to my H last night about what the therapist had to say to him. He wanted to tell me, and I was very interested in what she had to say. I found out some very interesting stuff and it has helped me understand abit better why my H is the way he is.
She dates it back to his childhood. Coming from divorced parents at an early age, his mother an alcoholic. Other things, basically all this points to my H having separation issues with people. She said that most people have 4 voices in their heads...moms voice, dads voice, your own voice and everyone elses. Basically she told my H he didnt have a voice. She said she bet that our marriage ended because he had lost feelings. She said that we had gotten into a grove or habit and that lead us to where we are. She told my H that he didnt know himself at all. He had no idea who he is. She told him that he needed to be alone for sometime so he could find himself. She wants him to get a hobby. He doesnt have any. She said SHE would find one for him. She said he is the type of person who clings to other people.
Thats all I remember getting from him last night. He said there were alot of things they didnt talk about yet. We talked for an hour and a half last night. Trying to understand each other.
For some reason I cant stop thinking that the world is against me. Why wont anyone help us? Help me? Why are people quick to offer solutions on how to move on, but not work on a marriage? Im not saying this is what his therapist is doing. I know she told my H that they were there to talk about HIS feelings and no one elses. She is trying to help him understand why so back and forth and what brought us to this point.
I want to know what we would need to do to make things work. After he got to know himself that is....I brought this question up to him and he said it was a good question and he is curious to the answer she may give him. Not that he is looking for the answer he says, but is curious since I brought it up....???....?
If she cant tell him how to make the feelings come back....can she tell me how to make them go away?
I told my H that his parents divorce has had a domino affect on there kids, and even the grandkids. It has to stop somewhere, right?
I feel like things are hopeless. My last little threads of hope are breaking.....I dont know how to feel. I want someone to talk to about it.
Im thinking about maybe calling this therapist for myself.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
