Good bye friends

[trytoohard]

Hey Cat-your H sounds sooo much like mine. We have now been S 2 1/2 years and been piecing in some form or fashion for over a year but he has not come back home (I'm not ready yet either). H has had such spew fests at me over the past few months, one was in the C office just like you described.

I got pregnant w/D a month before our wedding, didn't find out until 2 weeks after the wedding. H has said that (among other things) 1. I forced him to marry me (he proposed and we were engaged 13 months) 2. He has been unhappy the whole time, we aren't good for each other and we would both be happier if we just moved on 3. that his R w/ow was over 6 months before it was truly over 4. his R w/ow didn't end until ow and I met and talked for several hours at her request 5. my H's ow told my H that I was a wonderful woman and she would honor my marriage to H and move completely out of the picture, not even friends anymore 6. It's my fault that she won't talk to him or even look at him at work 7. that he is sober now so he has changed all his issues...YEAH RIGHT! 8. I am still stuggling financially at times therefore I haven't changed at all...YEAH RIGHT!

We have been reconnecting now for over a year and despite that fact, I am moving further and further away from him and from our marriage. He is having to make most of the effort to see me or spend any time with me.

I finally realized that while there is so much about him that I love, there are certain qualities that I can no longer live with and that I agree, we will be better off friends.

The qualities I cannot live with involve integrity and character issues that will only lend themselves to more deceit down the road and I am not signing up for that.

I haven't re-filed yet but feel like that is coming in the next few weeks.

I am a much different person today that when I first came to these boards so long ago. DB has been a God send, even though my marriage will not be one of the success stories.