Don't be so hard on yourself. I have not read the book you refer to, but to say you made a mess out of your marriage is a little harsh. Sure we LBS should take our part of the blame but WAS also have work to do and in general they refuse to do it. I like the fact that you are learning and trying to improve yourself for your H or any future relationship. I could definately learn from that. Don't let that book bring you down....you seem to be doing great.
