Thanks for checking up on me. It's kind of the calm AFTER the storm. I was such a great mood all day my first day back to work. Typing, singing... my coworkers were happy to have me back. (Believe it or not I'm the office clown.). Anyway when I got home wife was much stressed. I could tell. I talked to her a little. Me: how ya doing? W: OK Me: are you studying or looking for work? (She was on the computer) W: looking Me: I had a great day at work today W: that's good; were there lots to catch up on? Me: no I just had a great day.
Like I said I could tell she was really stressed. Later that day I went to MIL to show her the DVD I made of my trip. (And have a drink). Then Last night before I went to bed I went into living room where W watched her "*&*&% Soaps (which I think promotes infidelity). I thanked her for the talk we had last night. Me: Thanks for the talk last night. I feel allot less stressed. W: I don't feel any less stressed. Me: well at least I kind of know where you are at and I know that you are not just waiting to get out of our marriage. W: (just kind of looked at me) M: You should feel a little less stress now. Don't worry about our marriage or me leaving. Let’s just concentrate on you getting a job. W: (Still just kind of looking at me) Me: I don't want this to sound wrong but I am glad you are confused. It means that you have not made any choices. W: She smiled and laughed a little. Me: I so much want to work on us. But it can wait right now. As far as the intimacy issue. I kind of feel like I did a year ago. I can wait. We can work on that together after you find a job. I understand. BUT....I can wait as long as you never "stray" again. ME: As far as your job search I am very interested. I want to know how it is going. I am here for you. W: I know you are. W: well there was 4 jobs that I let the lady at the job agency know I was interested in but I have not heard back from her yet. As it's going now they are asking for things I have not learned yet. I will never be able to earn $30.00 Hr again. Me: that's alright. We can get by. I can work overtime and make up the difference. You are starting out all over again. You were at you last job for 30 years. You may have to work your self back up the ladder. Me: There was this collage summer hire I trained a few years back. Someone that knows him and knows me said he talked to him a few weeks back. He is now some kind of big wig at a company in town. He told my coworker that he was grateful for the training I gave him and if I ever need a job to let him Know. I don't know what company he works for but do you want me to find out? Maybe there is something you can do there? W: Well find out what they do. Me: ok, now if I can just remember which coworker told me that? I am getting old ya know. W: Smiled Me: Ya know I don't want you to withdraw or get upset but...... Last night I did hear ya say you loved me. I know it was just a little, tiny, tiny bit but I did hear that. We; Smiled Me: alright good night
So that is the update. I do feel like I am opening up Nikb, I am putting what happened past me. Letting go. I really do feel like I did a year ago when yes our sex life sucked but I was married. And willing to work though it. BUT.... As I said to her AS LONG AS SHE DOES NOT STRAY. I did not want to use stronger words at this time. I did not want to make her feel like she was being condemned or attacked at this time.
Later Dr Love
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
