At the 7-8 mark I had no plans to reconcile with my H. Although I still cared for him I couldn't get passed the thought that things would never change between us. My fear was that I would return home only to find nothing had really changed. In addition, I just didn't know how to go back, how to make things work and felt that perhaps just too much had happened between us. In all honesty, it was just easier to walk away and admit defeat that to face my own problems. At the 9 month mark I realized that my expectations where unrealistic, that I had to take responsibility for my part in making our marriage unhappy, that I loved him, that I made a commitment, and that anything worth having in life was never going to be easy. Furthermore, I wasn't solving anything by walking away from my marriage, but rather taking a break from my problems until the next relationship.
In my opinion it is difficult for a spouse to see either sitch (meaning yours together and her's with the OM) for what they are when they are involved with someone else. Suddenly the LBS is this and that, all things horrible and the OP is perfect. Hopefully, she will see the reality of the sitch.
I don't believe that bringing up the intensive ruined anything. Now you know that she is not ready for counseling just yet. Keep on track with what works. She just has to see that your changes and the changes in your relationship are lasting. Again this is just my opinion, but her skepticism about your sitch and the OM are contributing to her reluctance. No matter what continue to be her friend. I am sorry for your pain and I continue to hope that your sitch will turn around.
Last edited by HOPEFULinCALI; 02/28/0806:06 AM.
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
