All I can hold on to is myself, kids and this site

[BEAUTYandWAH]

Hi Joie and everyone..
I was not here for a couple days because I was crying for two days. Of course it is about H. H backfired at me when he found out his parents know about his trip. Arguments were all over the place. One point, he said something like 'i can do whatever I want when I have kids'.. which made me think :he can take my kids away from me, oversea, cross the country, with OW, new home whatever... I told him all I want is my kids to not have OW in their life. He was very defensive about it and of course the conversation did not go any where.

When he moved out or he decided to leave our marriage, I was devastated. But I start detaching and am fine somewhat. Now, I realized I will have only 50% of my children's life. When I decided to have my kids, I thought they are my kids and they will be 100% mine. But my H, who is selfish human being is taking 50% of their life that I will not able to involve. This is not fair. He asked me to let him go. I led him go, but he did n't say anything about he is taking 50% of my kids.

They are my life and everything to me. I am so tired of thinking about this situation. Soo tired.

Beauty