I thought I would dust off my thread to say ........... Nothing!
There is nothing new going on at all. I told W that I was planning on moving and that made her happy and she has been pretty pleasent lately but other than that there is nothing new at all.
PH, Thanks for your thoughts. I receive newsletters from the Steinkemps but I am often too busy to read them. I have them all archieved, I should go back and read up.
I hope everybody is well, I will try and catch up on some threads when I have a minute.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
Imageer, Been wondering if things were OK with you since we haven't heard from you in a long while. Why would your W be happy about you moving? Does it mean she will be further away from you?
The Prodigal's Perspective is actually a book that Bob wrote. I found it very encouraging and it is easy to read too. But no pictures!!!
Why is W happy with me moving ....... since day one she has had a little fantasy about how life will play out. It involves her moving closer to her job and me moving close to her and my work. She then figures that she will live happily ever after with OW and her and I will be friends and parents to our kids. In short every one living a happy life on her terms.
I think that she has an underlying idea that the damage she is casuing isn't really her fault because she thinks that she is a lesbian now and that's just the way it is and there is nothing she can do about that.
Anyway, when I decided to keep the house it totally screwed up her fantasy. She never told me this directly but she told a friend of hers who told her husband who told me (in a you've gotta be kidding me kind of way).
so now that I've decided to move, it means her fantasy is coming back together and she is happy about that. (probably the fact that she lives in a dump and has no money is my fault because I'm keeping her from her fantasy by not living where she wants)However, she will have to move too and she has told me that she has looked but is having a hard time finding a place. I think this is a financial issues but she doesn't say and I don't ask. I also think that there is a lot of pressure from OW to move so that she doesn't have to take the kids as far but I'm not sure about that.
All is well with me. I am extremely busy at work (I'm working right now at midnight) and that has kept me off the boards and from doing much else. My house is a huge mess because I only go there to sleep right now and I haven't GAL in over a month. But being busy means more money, so that is good.
How are things with you?
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
I hope your W dumps her fantasy. I am sure it is still hard for you to understand why she would even think she's a lesbian. And I really admire you for your patience with her through her crisis.
Hope you get to GAL soon as that is also important for one's well-being.
I am OK and am looking forward to going away. Even though it really hasn't sunk in yet that I am going on vacation. That's because I am so busy at work and need to get alot done before leaving.
Imageer, good to see you up and at 'em still. Miss talking to you. My W had a weird "fantasy" when all this started that we would still be together and she had this OP on the side even in our old age. Definitely her fantasy, not mine. Call me old fashioned but I think of M as monogamous.
(And, our conversations in the past, still makes me doubt she is really a lesbian -- maybe a lesbian for now but more temporary until it gets old)
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
If you men want to know what women really want and need, go to this site and give them your email address and you will receive a free daily newsletter written by a man to men about women. It is great! Hope you will pass it along.
Also, Michelle's books are on Amazon and the used books start at 13 cents plus 3.99 S&H. All that I have bought that were used were in very good condition. Hope you will spread the word to anyone that can't pay regular price right now.
Help save more marriages!
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Grace, How are you? The kids are good, they are at Ws right now. She has taken them away for the weekend to a frinds of OWs (a lesbian couple) I'm not sure how I feel about that but I don't think the kids understand what is going on and they like all the snow that is there so I guess I'm ok with it.
I think Ws fantasy is coming true. Only it's more like a nightmare!
I'm here again at midnight. So far this week it's been 12, 1, 1:30, 2 and who know what time I'll leave tonight. I'm feeling a little burnt out.
PH, I'm hoping to GAL Saturday night. I'm glad to hear that your going away. I'm talking about going to Vegas in June but I don't think I'm going to be able to go being that I'm thinking of moving. Still, I'd like to go.
Ws actions and opinions are a product of the people that she associates with. Many of the MLCers we read about here spent a lot of time with divorced people or people younger than they are. Well, my W spent time with a divorced woman who had "experimented" and an actual lesbian coworker.
MMF, Interesting once again. Way back in the beginning of all of this my W wanted to go have an ongoing Lesbian A while carrying on our M and wanted me to be ok with that.
Sandi, I have read some of his material and get his newsletters. (I also have Michelle's books and many others) I have mixed opinions of him. Are you (as a woman) saying you agree with his opinions? My problem is that he portrays himself as a relationship expert meanwhile he has no formal training and has actually been divorced 2 or 3 times. That aside, my bigger issue is that he, in many instances, talks about women in a manner that indicates he believes that women have no self control and are basically more like animals than human.
For example, he likes to talk about women and bordom. His position seems to be that if woman become bored in anyway in their R then they will leave. They do this because they are women and that is what women do. There is no taking in to account what is best for all involved, children or financial stability. It's simply that if women get bored, they will leave and it is up to men to keep them from getting bored. This seems vastly oversimplified to me.
I'm not saying that I disagree with everything that he has to say. His general message of Man up / Stop being a wuss is right on I think. Again, I'm interested to hear your opinion of his writing.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
Had an interesting day yestersday. The day before S5 was playing with hockey sticks at day care and another girl (5) smacked her in the face and knocked out one of her baby teeth. I found out about this in the evening and wasn't very happy about it. So the next morning I stopped by the day care and had words with the people there. I was them talking to W later in the day and it came up that I had gone there and talked to them about it. This very much impressed W and she emphatically told me so. Then later that day she told me how good my hair looked.
W generally likes it when I act authoritative. I can think of many examples of this in the past and I think this is one of them. I guess I should do that more often.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
