No children to draw him back.....no what???

[NikB]

Granted your sitch may be different. I haven't seen it yet, but maybe you had a happy, healthy, loving M and your H had an A anyway. Like I said haven't seen it yet - but I'm sure it happens, especially for people who don't value monogamy.

I know, I know, I'm quoting myself...

I wanted to clarify something I said in this paragraph. On the "don't value monogamy" I realized that could have sounded like I meant you didn't, and that's not what I meant at all. I meant that it could be a case where you value it while it isn't an important value to your H. I realize it's a TV show but I'm thinking along the lines of, say, Anthony Soprano. Even that is hard to wrap my head around! But I think it's incredibly rare that someone who's perfectly happy in their M would go out and have an A anyway. Soo many of us thought our M was good or at least OK before the bomb, only to find out that our spouse was extremely unhappy for a long time and turned to the A out of pain.

In a lot of ways yours sounds to me like he never really wanted to be married to begin with and for whatever reason he did it anyway (which I think is a really cruel thing to do to you).

I'm sorry that I posted this. It was in my head and I didn't employ enough of that "brain to fingers" filter. I just re-read it and realized how much it would have hurt me to hear that, especially early in my sitch. Not to mention, I try so hard to stop people from mindreading, and here I am trying to read your H'd mind (which no one is capable of, but you certainly have a better understanding of him and your sitch than I possibly could).

I'm really sorry. I hope that I didn't add even more to your hurt with that comment.

(((Pinkribbon)))