WAW....now the LBS

[brantacan]

HiC,

I too am excited to hear about how the intensive goes. I am so happy for you that you have the opportunity to go with your H. Just stay focused on that day and be thankful that you and your H will be meeting with a world renowned counselor.

Unfortunately for me, I just received a brief letter from my wife asking about a couple of logistical items and then she closed with “sorry, I just can’t go to the counseling thing, it’s just too late for me, talk soon.”

She was referring to the intensive. I think you read a previous post of mine where W said she’d consider. This was during a month spell where we were actually getting along very well, although things were still very delicate.

So, a question for a former WAW (including you Saus); My wife and I are at a little over 8 months S now, just a few weeks ago she was saying things like “I’m just not sure what I want anymore” and “if I knew an alternative to divorce I’d pursue it, but my heart is so empty” and “if we’re going to make it I think we need a clean slate”…these statements were actually giving me a bit of hope because for a while she was very adamant about D and not waffling, but now I receive this letter with her wanting to revisit the mediation process and her stating that she’s just too far gone. At 8 months do you think she’s hit a point where maybe she is sure that she has found a better life, or is this one of those statements that I should just tuck away with all of the other ominous things she’s said and not worry about it? I suppose I shouldn’t be worrying about it regardless. I just wasn’t expecting it and it caught me off guard. Was very upsetting. Fortunately, I maintained my composure and avoided calling her and have now brought myself back down to earth.

Maybe bringing up the intensive was a major mistake that’s sent her running again???

Anyway, if you have any perspective to share related to where your heart was at 7-8 months of S I would love to hear about it. I know she doesn’t hate or despise me, but something’s keeping her from taking a chance on us again. Probably the OM? That’s the one thing that I’ve managed to avoid thinking and worrying about, but it does perplex me that she’s been able to maintain a R w/a co-worker for this long. Anyway, I've been doing a great job w/DB, but man I miss her sooooo much and just having a down day, so had to ramble & vent a bit, so with that I’ll close.