Where was I? In her brothers basement, miserable that I had been there for almost a year and a half, recovering from my New Years Eve assault...alone. I was negative and going through a rough time. I was no longer the better option so she went out with her friends more....this snowballed and made me more irritated. I then "persecuted" her for not being with ME. This led to her resenting me and feeling like I was controlling her and "keeping her in a box".
Heads up, buddy - "controlling her" is code for "I'm out partying and I don't want to be bothered by any thoughts that I should be taking care of my fiancee instead of flirting with other guys, so you must be too controlling". I think almost every cheating WAS has said those words about "too controlling" to the LBS who just wanted to know what was up!
There was NOTHING wrong with you expecting that she would be more responsible and empathetic. And there is nothing wrong with you - except maybe that you're too much of a rescuer. You are an accomplished guy, a sensitive romantic man, and you just wasted your energy on a woman who cannot rise to the occasion. She is beneath you.
And REALLY, you HAVE to figure out why you got involved with her in the first place. Was your pain at rejection SO bad that it made a whacko woman with huge debts and a very erratic life history look like a good bet for a life partner? Where's the logic in that???
