I will take your advice about anniversary. I have always liked being understated.
Guess I can relax now.
Good night to my good friends!
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
Well I have had a snow day today. I text TJ a quick one this am, and we flirted, like teenagers. It is nice.
I am going to use this thread for a bit of journaling.
I really really want to be a success story.
My measurement of success has changed. I want to be happy. I want to continue to be Holly, I have lost myself for the last few years. I have found myself. I have a faith. Sometimes it is quiet, and sometimes it is loud. I do thank God for all his love and attention. I am grateful for all the gifts that I have received, love friendship and grace.
Now that TJ and I are enjoying a run at reconciliation, I am happy. But I have noticed a few things that make me uneasy. With all the good things I have in my life, I mind is occupied with those happy thoughts, more than my relationship with God. I will not let that go. I have fought too hard to have that, and it sustains me. I will keep being responsible to myself for my own happiness, and this weekend, I noticed a few tiny details, that I can not let escape my attention. TJ and I have a friendship, and a new, exciting physical life. We do not have an emotional attachment. I know this is coming, but, I miss that.
2 little left over traits TJ still carries with him from our marriage that ""BUG"" me.
They are really the same thing, advice he gives me about social situations. He tries to control me, in subtle ways. We were adding more adults to our table Friday night, and he was telling me not to help, or act too eager about having parents from our team join our table. I did it anyways. THe new Holly is very welcoming.
The second thing is about D21. She was swimming GREAT. Proportionately better than the other members of the team. Parents were giving me compliments about her swimming, and I would thank them, and I knew how their children were swimming, but I could not insincerely say, and your child is too! I was sharing that with TJ, and he seemed annoyed with me, for this,,,, just like the old habits that made us unhappy.
So I am busy reading about boundries in marriage, and getting in touch with God.
It occurs to me, that the answers to all my problems are the same,....
let go, and let God.
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
he called again tonight. He told me I was welcome to come see D and SIL this weekend, or meet them in T, to see MIL...... AND his short vacation to join us in Hilton Head just turned into the whole week.....
my goodness, the boy is coming along!!!!1
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
