:)Thankyou so much Tia!!

Thats very appreciated. I cant give anyone any advice on HOW to DB (It wasnt my strong point, lol, ) but at least those who are feeling they wont survive this nightmare and ever be happy again, will see that most of us do come out of this whole and intact. I honestly never thought I would, at times. I had a breakdown, I was a total mess, and sometimes I even thought I wanted to die \:\( and when people told me "you WILL get through this, you WILL get over this" I thought "No, I wont!! Others might, but I wont"...I cant believe now I EVER thought that way!! Over a MAN????? Jeez! haha.

I feel so different now. And I really beleive that its the MLCer that never TRUELY moves on from this. This stays with them, forever. Even if they appear to be happy, I dont think they ever really are, not deep down. I wouldnt like to be in their shoes, thats for sure. They have to live with what theyve done, and its always there, tapping them on the shoulder. Regret, guilt, what-ifs, unanswered questions...each and every one of them will feel regret, I really do think that.

I used to think it was us, the LBS, that had drawn the short straw, but I dont think that now. The short straw is grasped firmly in the hands of the MLCer. And while they are grabbing at that short straw with one hand, WE are grabbing at our new lives, with 2 STRONG hands. I know which one of us Id rather be! ;\) \:\)