Helloooo...Smoother Ride....Where Are You?? - Pt.2

[SueS]

Hi NoCode-

You know, as with your wife, my H isn't outright rejecting or neglecting our D3 either. He's just pulled way back on the time spent with her. Makes me very sad. We waited a very long time to have kids. We planned on having this child. Now she's being cheated out of what should be hers, an intact family.

I had a long conversation with someone I work with today. Technically, I work for her, although I don't report to her. When I transferred into this office, she was known as a very cold, uncaring woman. I was quietly warned from the beginning that it was best that I cover my back when it came to her. Now she was always pretty good with me, but I did see that side with others. She got married about a year & 1/2 ago and just after that went through some serious medical issues. Since then she's almost a completely different person. We talked about how life changes and how people either adjust to those changes or they continue on the same path and don't grow. I told her that with me, I feel like I've changed since D3 was born, but that H has stayed on the same path. I told her that I like to go out and have fun, when time & money allow. However, I like being a mom, being at home, being with my child, liked being a wife....etc. H, on the other hand, never stopped the partying, concerts...etc. Not that all the fun has to stop, but it does have to slow and some of the types of fun has to change. I'm not a party pooper, but children do change your life, a lot. H, just doesn't seem to get this. He's waaaayyyy to far into his partying, single friends, OW....etc.

I truly hope that some day when we separate (as he wants), he is alone and sees what it's like. I'm sure at first it will be great and liberating but at some point being without your family has to be tough. I hope someday he sees that I'm not a boring person. That I just made changes to my life to fit the tough times we were going through and adjusting to having a child. That I'm not this axis of evil that is in his life just to make him miserable. I hope he sees that I tried to be a good wife, that I am a good mother and that he missed out on what could have been a good, stable, loving life. I know I say that as if my M is over, but H is moving in that direction. I've noticed some of the things he's done lately that seem as if he's preparing himself for leaving. Again, makes me very sad.

SueS