This cold of mine is dragging on forever! Sorry if I haven't been as up on everyone's posts lately...things are a bit crazy.
Last night I had my work function. Now I'm not one for bragging, but I gotta tell you...I looked good. I wore a size 8 dress, my new hair do and NO nursing bra (I wore a bra...just not a nursing one!). I wish I knew what was running through H's head when I came downstairs. As far as it looked...nothing. Although he wasn't making much eye contact with me. Anyway....I went to my work party. It was good to see people in the real world again. Many were suprised to see me and I got a lot of compliments on my appearance (the last time most of them saw me I was 8 1/2 months preggo.). I come out of the even...it's snowing as usual, and low and behold, I have a flat tire. Yep....bring it on God! One of the guys I work with helped me put the spare on (ok...I watched a guy I work with put the spare on...) and I got home. H didn't seem to care much when I called him to say I would be a little longer because of the flat. It's so weird because I keep waiting for my H who has concern for my well being to come out when these things happen...but nothing. He left as soon as I got home...and I might add the I looked even better when I got home because I had to pump! Anyway, this morning I took D to school, went to my counselling appmt...then to the tire place to get it fixed. What I thought was going to be a $30 repair of tire....has turned into $1,650 for all 4 struts and all 4 tires. Apparently they were so bad I shouldn't have been driving on them. Great with 2 small kids huh? Nice to know H is driving around in the nice SUV!!! I don't have the money and am panicked about putting it on credit. Bring it on God!!! If he only gives me what I can handle...he must really think I am Supermom.
H seems to have gotten a bit more distant or cold since our little talk last week. I expected it...but it's such an obvious pattern. I'm feeling ok again knowing that IF the seeds of doubt are planted in him it's just going to take time for them sow. My C appmt today was good. It was very constructive. I was supposed to drop off the papers to my L today, but because of the car trouble, I'll have to do it tomorrow. I'm going to meet with her to discuss on Monday. I'm looking forward to getting some things figured out so I have an idea of what is next. I just pray that the finances will work out such that H will not benefit from selling the house or me buying him out. I'm hoping that it will actually cost HIM to do so and that will slow him down. Plus, I know money is a huge thing for him right now so if he starts to see the terrible no so lucrative reality behind this whole thing then maybe that will help sow those seeds. So hopefully I'll have those answers soon. S & D are gone with him tonight...no tears this time. Just tears for the F&@%ING $1,600!!!! *SIGH* J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
