Well, I have to go do that this weekend but I am sure there will be wedding stuff from now until June.
You are right, things are a lot friendlier now. I would love for H to go with me, and I think if things even stayed just like they are now he would go with me. We'll see.
He actually just called me. I haven't talked to him since Sunday because I didn't call him yesterday. He called to tell me he had good news....I am thinking job. Nope, he was calling to tell me the people above him are moving out. They are HORRIBLE. We actually called the police on them one night. They were physically fighting and it sounded like they were coming through the ceiling.
On a side note about the neighbors, H says they are lesbians. Now he has never had anything against lesbians before...but he seems to REALLY dislike that about them. I wonder if that has anything to with OW. I even said at one point "What do you have against lesbians." He told me not to go there and that I was trying to provoke him.
He told me he did call about the management job and they told him they wanted him to come in NEXT friday for another interveiew (this will be the third). Hopefully it will work out.
Hmmm, interesting that he seems to have developed a bias in that regard. Also interesting to speculate why, but I don't suppose it matters much. Other than to note it's a subject he's sensitive about right now lol.
This whole interview process is sure taking a while, but I hope it works out for him in the long run. How is the other job going in the meanwhile?
I hope you are having a good week. Been working out or doing other things for yourself? I bet you're looking forward to Thursday.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
He has definitely developed a bias. I mean he really talks about it a lot...which makes it hard for me not to bring up OW or to ask why. Who knows what happened, but something did for him to have this sudden dislike. The first thing that comes to mind is that maybe she rejected him....after leading him on. I guess it doesn't matter, I am just curious.
The job is going pretty good. He seems to be a lot happier about it. A girl that he waited on left him her phone number and I saw it when I was at his apt. I didn't make a big deal about it but he did ask me how it made me feel. I told him that she probably thought he was good looking and nice...and also unattached. I can't blame her, it isn't like he had a ring on...not like I can say anything about that since I don't have mine on either.
On that note, I really want to put my rings back on. I feel like I need to see if this is ok with him since it has been so long. I don't want him to see it as pressure or that I am getting my hopes up. I wouldn't even ask him to put his on. Any advice...or should I just do it?
I have been working out. H usually works out when I am at work so unfortunately we haven't been able to do that together. Yes, I am looking forward to Thursday. I am thinking about cooking dinner.
Since you both have not worn them in so long, I think it is something that should be discussed.
In the past, how would you handle an issue when you knew the outcome you wanted? Would you ask if that was ok with him? Would you ask his opinion? What have you done since you started DBing?
It's always nice to have things like Thursday night to look forward to. I'm sure he'd appreciate a home-cooked meal.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
H just called, wow...2 days in a row. He was in a really good mood. Apparently he made good money today and they moved his other interview up to Saturday.
We were talking about his bills and he got really serious and said that he really appreciated everything I was doing. He told me he felt really guilty. I told him that I know if the tables were turned he would help me out...and I really do believe that. Then he said "Maybe you should move in." I was so shocked by this statement I had no idea how to respond. I kind of just acted like he didn't say it. I am an idiot...why didn't I say "Is that what you want?" or "I would love to", or ANYTHING...instead I said nothing. I think the reason I said nothing is because I wasn't sure if he was saying it because he wanted me to or becuase he feels guilty. Should I bring it up again??
This is something that I had told him before that I wasn't ready for. I told him that in order for us to R he would have to move here, get his own place, and give me some time to feel comfortable with him again...which he has done all three.
It is completely fair to take time to think about this. I think your response should have been "let me think about it for a day."
I think you should let him know you will think about it and that you are open to the idea. Even tell him you want to make sure you are both doing this for the right reasons.
Communication is key. Don't leave him to second guess his asking or wonder what is going through your head.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Well, I am sure by the way I reacted he is wondering what is going on in my head. I mean I really just acted like he didn't even say it. Maybe I will bring it up tomorrow night.
I wouldn't want to do it too quick. I have read so many times that the WAS came back to quick.
I'm not saying move in with him next week. I'm saying, just make sure you tell him that you are open to the idea but need time to think about it.
Then, if you decide to do it, take it slow. Pack up your things over a couple weeks maybe and then do the actual moving in one weekend but down the road. Practically speaking, you do have reasons why it can't be next week. So it can go as fast or slow as you are comfortable with.
While your H went from running away to running back fairly quick, he has made some strides over the last few months. And things over the last few months have been making steady progress. While I think you would both need time to settle in together, it does have to happen eventually to make the M work. You know yourself and your H better than anyone, so you are a far better judge of what is too soon than I can be.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Well, after I slept on it...I am not sure how serious he was. I think it is too soon. We only spend a couple of days a week together. He would need to express to me that he is willing to do the work.
I do think big strides have been made in the past few months. I mean when I left TX I really thought it would be the last time I would see him.
I have a confession to make...I got his phone bill for January...and I opened it. There were some calls from OW but nothing like before. It looked like he called her a couple of times but they were always shortly after she called him. The calls were short, maybe 5 mins (before they would be up to 3 hours!). Then about the last 6 or 7 days on the bill..no calls. Hopefully that is tapering off. I really think she is toxic for him.
Anyway, looking forward to spending some time with him tonight.
Bad klm for snooping lol. I am glad it was mostly good news though. Sounds like he just called her back, so that's definitely good.
How serious he was, and how serious you are, are two separate things. You owe him an answer I think. Even if your answer is that you are not ready for that, but that you are open to the idea eventually and will need to reevaluate in a month. And maybe even tell him that you need him to take a risk and start doing more work on the R before you will feel comfortable living together again.
Perhaps this is even an opportunity to validate more - tell him you understand how he feels, that you want to move in that direction too?
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
