As much as you are confused about what you want, your W is probably just as confused with her own feelings as well as with your actions. I know in my case I thought my message was always consistent. I wanted to make the marriage work. But, my actions were not always in line with that. She was confused, I was confused and we were confusing each other.
Also, there was mention of OG not being the issue. This was mentioned at just about every R discussion I had with W before we began patching things up. Yes, I understand that initially the OG or OW is not the issue. There are underlying issues with the marriage that result in the OG or OW coming into the picture. But once that happens, OG/OW is very much an issue and will be until they are removed completely from the picture. I very clearly remember our conversation at the point where she made the decision to really work on things. She did admit that OG had been the problem with her being able to have any desire to work on the M. How can a spouse make a rational decision about fixing a marriage when they are heavily involved with another person? How can H be the right man if W is / was in love with OG?
Love is a decision. Forgiveness is a decision.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
