I have talked to OW at length about her life story. She was an LBS, though not for an OW (she doesn't think) - just basically abaondoned. My H was her "knight", he was going to save her, make up for all the hurt her H had caused. She is needy and weak and so she had repressed all of the signs that my H was married and lying to her about everything about him. The lies my H told were actually borderline psychotic - it's a wonder she didn't see right through them, but then again, she didn't want to.
So b/c he was her knight, OW made my H feel really good about himself, right when he was feeling like life had no meaning (deep in MLC). I believe it when they say that many A's are not about the OP but about how the OP makes the WAS feel - like looking in a very flattering mirror. The WAS really likes the person they see reflected back at them from OP - which is always wonderful at the start of any R. It's not about the OP, it's about how OP makes WAS feel about themselves. And I suppose, it's partly b/c I wasn't doing that for H at that time. Or not, since in MLC they say that there may be nothing LBS could have done to change things.
Just a few thoughts. Thanks for starting this thread, running, it has made me think some more and let go responsibility a little more, and detach a little more.
FA
What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
FA:43, H:42 D:7 M:10 yrs, T:24 yrs EA:?, PA:1/06 S:3/07 EA/PA ongoing Aborted attempt to move home 07/08
