Perhaps you should focus on those children and what you can do to keep them as safe and happy and out of the middle of things between you and your H as possible. Remember even when you don't think they can year you, they most certainly can. They will pick up on your moods and your words. Kids will mimic what they see and voice what they have heard at the most inopportune times.

Checking out of life will not give your children a happily ever after.

~ swl

Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}