You are going through the ringer right now. I do hope you will feel better but it takes a lot of tears and time to get to that stage. I don't have any words of wisdom because I am struggling everyday with my WAH and his decision but this is a good place to come and vent, hash and rehash things out. People are excellent. And BTW they are right there are tons of women who would love to have a decent, good man so don't let go of him inside of you.