Well, I have "diagnosed" Joey as having a midlife crisis. He is not into cars, so that part doesn't quite fit. But I really thought it was about being sex-starved, now I see it's the "complaint of the day" syndrome.
Now...how to proceed. I had already begun lving for me, for my kids, trying to find happiness around me and trying to not let his actions bother me so much. I need to get better at that last one though. It is DEFINITELY a button of mine to feel like I'm taking blame for something I am not responsible for. This is something I need to work on. I started a Girlfriend's Club and am putting together a calendar of days that my friends and i can get together a couple times a month, just to have a drink or whatever. He has complained about that though and TOTALLY turned into a scorekeeper, deciding to run off to a friend's house for the weekend to "get me back." But whatever. At least we're not fighting in front of the kids. Yesterday we were talking on the phone and things got tense. We were talking about our checking account and how I always have to check with him to see if we have any money because he is the one who writes out the bills and does all the balancing. He ACTS like he resents having to do it, but I would be MORE THAN HAPPY to take it over, but he would criticize me. I am serious that we overdraw on a regular basis and I know part of that is because we go down to nothing, it's really easy to do when there is not enough to go around. But I had my own checking account when I was working two years ago and overdrew one time. He threw a FIT and insisted I close the account. He acted like I wanted my own account so I could spend more money. That was not the case, I just wanted control over KNOWING how much I had to work with and did not have to communicate with him before making a purchase. Anyhow, we were hashing this out in serious tones, not yelling, not cursing and my 4 year old daughter walked in and said, "I wanna talk to Daddy." I handed her the phone and she said in the most innocent voice, "Daddy, please don't fight with Momma, I don't like that." He and I both started crying and ended the conversation. PRETTY bad. The thing is, I took from that: "WE have got to stop this." He took from that: "SHE has got to stop this." I know I'm far from perfect, but he is the one who is always thinking life is gloom and doom and finding reasons to be unhappy.
Any advice is greatly appreciated. Other than patience, kindness and self-control, I'm not sure how to proceed from here.
